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Masturbation Tips: How To Spice Up Solo Sex

By: Sam Pirson , May 31, 2024

There’s so much emphasis on sex with others – how to please your partner, new positions to try, how to keep it interesting with your long term partner. But what about the sex you’re having solely with yourself?


May is National Masturbation Month, a whole month dedicated to self service and how to have sex with yourself. Nearly everyone is doing it yet barely anyone is talking about how to develop that healthy, pleasurable relationship with yourself. 


Keep reading for great masturbation tips on a variety of toys, positions and sexy ways to enjoy yourself.

Why solo sex and masturbation are a necessity


There is so much shame around sex to begin with, that self-pleasure and the development of it tends to be stifled or overlooked. According to the world’s largest survey on masturbation, 55 percent of people never talk about it. You may be doing it, but are you exploring it? It’s time to do more than simply get it done. 


Self care can include a variety of ways to love or show yourself care. Masturbation falls under that umbrella. Knowing how you and your body like to be romanced and pleasured does not and should not only come from others we choose to share ourselves with. Indulging in yourself with solo sex enables you to establish not only expectations of how you want to be treated, but it allows exploration on your own time and in your own comfort zone without the added pressure of pleasing someone else or considering their feelings.

Having sex with yourself is about solo pleasure

By definition, masturbation is the self-stimulation of the genitals, typically to the point of orgasm. However, solo sex should and can be much more than rubbing one out until you cum, much like sex with others is so much more than getting in and out. Knowing how to spice up solo sex is just the tip, actually indulging in it is the fun part.

How to spice up solo sex


Monotony is not something you should settle for in your sex life – with others or alone. For that reason, we’re going to walk you through solo sex tips to ensure you’ll always know how to keep things exciting when you have some sexy time to yourself. 

1. Romance yourself

Romancing yourself is simply caring for and nurturing yourself, and when it comes to sex solo, it’s about doing it in a very sexy way. This can look like a nice bath with candles, setting the mood with good lighting and desired music, and really taking care of your body with scented body oil or a little self massage. It’s about treating yourself in both sexual and non-sexual ways. 

2. Have fun with solo foreplay

Foreplay doesn’t need to be with another person, nor does it need to be physical. Perhaps it’s time to explore a different genre of porn or different storyline, but you can also stray away from your typical medium, explore your desires and turn yourself on. Consider just pictures, audio erotica, erotic novels or you can even venture into old sexting convos and nudes exchanges for new ways for how to spice up masturbation. 

3. Try different solo sex positions

It can be easy to fall into a routine with someone, so you know how easy it can be to simply pleasure yourself laying flat on your back. Here are a variety of solo sex positions to try when learning how to spice up masturbation sessions. 


Positions for women: For women, you can switch from your back to kneeling or doggy style position or you can be on your side like a solo spoon. Pillows are great to prop up under your butt or adjust your body slightly in each position.


Positions for men: Men can try standing upright or bent over, also in doggy style, sitting upright in different chairs or on the couch. You can also get in a solo spoon position and rub one out. 

4. Find the best solo sex toys for you

Different sex toys can be fun too. The best solo sex toys offer a variety of sensations to make sure your masturbation sessions don’t get monotonous. 


For women, you can look to classic vibrators for clitoral stimulation, dildos for vaginal and anal penetration or clit-sucking vibrators that still offer a variety of cadences in the vibrations but a different sensation on the clit. 


For men, sex toys for masturbation include sleeves, cock rings and dildos for anal penetration, and a vibrator is always going to add a little spice to the session. 

5. Experiment with different lubes

One of the best parts about solo pleasure is the ability to try out new things without worrying about how someone else feels about it. It’s a great opportunity to experiment with new lubes like the examples below. 


  • Water-based lubes are great for self-gratification because they’re the easiest to clean up and they’re the easiest on toys. 

  • Silicone-based lubes last longer, are good for sensitive skin but can deteriorate toys over time. 

  • Oil-based lubes can keep things slick, sometimes double as a massage oil, but are more likely to stain sheets and clothing.

Spicing up solo sex with others


Just because you’re partnered or regularly sleeping with someone doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in a little self-gratification on your own time alone. However, you can involve them while having sex solo if you don’t live together or not together in the moment. 

Try sexting as foreplay

Whether it’s a sexy text exchange about desires and what you want to do to each other, sending nudes or videos can definitely make your self-pleasure more exciting. (These sexting tips can take you a long way.) It can also be part of your own foreplay to get your space sexy to record something special for a partner. And a huge bonus: you’ll have great material to revisit whenever you need a little self-pleasure on your own time. 

Use a cam site for mutual masturbation

Just because you’re not sleeping with anyone else doesn’t mean you need to masturbate alone. How, you ask? A cam site is the perfect opportunity to spice up your solo sex and masturbate with someone else. 

This is a great way to safely explore kinds and interests alone and to try with others in the future. You can also make it a regular occurrence in your masturbation routine by trying out a variety of sex roleplay ideas and different cammers with each session. The options and new scenarios are truly endless on a cam site.

Masturbation tips to spice up short sessions


Although masturbation is typically characterized by the act of getting yourself off, it is so much more than that. There are plenty of ways to spice up your masturbation that include indulgence and working on your sexuality repertoire. And, exploration can still exist in short sessions, because let’s be real – there are plenty of quickies to spread these masturbation tips throughout to keep it interesting.  

1. Try different strokes and speeds

If you always use a toy, try your hand or a different toy. If you always use your hand, try a toy. You can use two toys at the same time – one for penetration and another for vibration. You can also switch hands and have an entirely new experience. 


Changing your strokes and speeds – and even the grip for those with a penis – can help you understand your body more, and introduce these ways to pleasure yourself to a partner. 


2. Learn what gives you multiple orgasms

Orgasms and pleasure feels good and should be fun. A great leisurely way to lean into solo sex is to explore how many different ways you can make yourself cum. Develop your own catalog of ways to get off by trying to give yourself multiple orgasms. When it’s time to have sex with another person, you’ll be bringing so much to the bedroom. 

3. Use a mirror to watch yourself

Another great way to develop your self-love through masturbation is to watch yourself. Observing yourself experiencing pleasure without judgment is the fast track to self-acceptance and raising your standards of how others treat you, your body and your pleasure. 


You can try with a hand mirror on the bed, move it into the bathroom for the bathroom mirror or really get comfortable by putting a chair in front of your full-length mirror and get a great view of yourself. Additionally, you can also record yourself and play it back. 

4. Shake up your masturbation location

It’s very easy to get stuck in a rut of rubbing one out laying on your back in bed – it does the job. But this shouldn’t feel like work. It’s about feeling good! Different locations lend for trying out those aforementioned positions and techniques in addition to mixing it up. Here is how to spice up your solo sex with a change of location.


  • Move it to another room in the house. With respect to whoever you live with, the couch or the kitchen are new frontiers. 

  • Try it in the shower. A hot shower is the quickest way to get super steamy solo. 

  • Take a solo staycation. Provided you have the funds, a night away in a hotel, motel or Airbnb can really take the self-romancing and self-pleasure to the next level. 

  • Get behind the wheel. Granted, this definitely needs to be when you are not driving and far enough away from other vehicles and people, the car can take you for your solo ride. 

  • Venture out to the great outdoors. Make sure you’re in a secluded area first, but you can get in touch with yourself while you get in touch with nature.

Remember: Practicing sex solo is an act of self-care

Woman-lying-in-bed-solo-time-with-pillow Keeping it interesting in the bedroom solely for your own pleasure with just you is a great way to get to know yourself, experiment with new things, keep it fresh, love on yourself, find things to introduce into sex with others, and above all continue to stay connected to your body and self. You can find infinite ways to enjoy more solo sex with yourself on
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