Winter and Sex: How to Deal With Low Libido in Winter

By: Melissa Miller , February 7, 2025

The end of January is typically responsible for the coldest temperatures of the year in many parts of America, and we’re seeing record-breaking lows and back to back days of cold this year. Around 40% of people say their mood takes a hit during the winter, often losing interest in activities — including sex.

Does it feel like your libido is lower in the winter? Is it hard to get excited about winter sex? Cold feet and cold hands do not typically equate sexiness. Is it hard to feel sexy in general?

This guide would be tips on boosting your own libido, how to navigate and support your partner’s low libido in winter and how to get in the mood with low libido and heat things up, especially in the cold.

Is it normal for winter sex drive to be lower?

The way we spend time, present ourselves and engage with new people (or ones that have been in our lives) is just different in the winter than other months. Some of these cultural things are responsible for lack of sex in the winter and low libido in the winter. But scientifically, it’s common as well. Erectile dysfunction can increase 15 to 20 percent more during the winter months. But, lower sex drive in the winter isn’t a defeat you have to accept as much as it’s worth preparing for.

Sex is good for us, bottomline. It helps to lower blood pressure, improves our immune system, and increases heart health. It can reduce stress, both physiologically and emotionally. More sex is good for depression and anxiety, which often feel heightened into winter due to the drop in vitamin D.

More sex begets higher libido, which drops in the winter. It can improve your self-esteem, act as a natural pain relief and afford better sleep. It’s just good for you, and it’s especially good as back-to-back shorter, freezing days rob you of feeling your best.

Reasons for low libido in winter

Less vitamin D, more clothes, less serendipitous opportunities to see people in person – culturally it makes sense that people experience low libido in cold weather.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): SAD is a type of depression that occurs during the fall and winter months. It’s often triggered by reduced exposure to the sun and results in symptoms like fatigue, low mood, increased appetite, and changes in sleep patterns all of which lower libido.
Reduced Vitamin D: Less sunlight impacts vitamin D production, which supports immune health, muscle function and brain cell activity. Feeling drained in this way can make sex feel less appealing.
Changes in serotonin production: The lack of sunlight can also disrupt the body’s production of serotonin which regulates mood and energy levels, subsequently leaving people with less energy for intimacy.
Higher melatonin levels: When melatonin production is high due to reduced daylight during the dark winter months it helps to suppress sex hormones.
More clothes: People are in more clothes and layers leaving less obvious visual stimulation. This can also cover up other signs that are reminiscent of arousal that show up on the body in hotter temperatures like sweat glistening on the body or flush cheeks.
Anxiety and social pressure: The holiday season and post holiday season are supposed to be joyous time of rest, but sometimes the additional family time and other socializing can bring on anxiety and impact mental health. These factors can also lower sex drive in winter.

How to increase sex drive in winter

Even with sex drive lower in winter, it doesn’t mean you have to have less sex. It simply takes a bit of effort and switching things up. Here’s how to get in the mood with low libido and have more sex in winter.

1. Turn up the heat, literally

Give yourself enough time to let the room or setting warm up, but turn the thermostat up higher. Trying to get hot and heavy when it’s 68 degrees indoors and below freezing outdoors will likely make for cold feet and goosebumps (not the good kind, either).

2. Layer sexy fabrics

We tend to keep it cozier in the winter months. Try laying sexier fabrics like silky robes under cashmere sweaters or more sensual undergarments under the gray sweats. It’s exciting to find a surprise under the layers of shapeless clothing to keep you warm.

3. Plan a winter getaway

Think hotel with a fireplace in the lobby or a tiny cabin in the woods to stay indoors and watch the snow fall. All you’ll have to do is snuggle and have sex in winter.

4. Body warming oils and lubes

Not only is it exploratory to create different sensations on the body, warming oils or lubes can also promote the feeling of heat, and clearly that’s what we’re looking for here.

5. Experiment with body contact

Friction creates heat. Try to incorporate more massage, heavy petting and maybe even bring back dry humping (under a blanket) or clothes-on grinding to try to get hot and heavy.

6. Schedule sexy time

Effort is sexy. Make a plan for sex and what’s going to happen. Incorporate the aforementioned, but get creative. Have hot tea, then perform oral. Give yourselves plenty of time to appropriately warm up to taking off your clothes and getting down.

You can also do things to promote higher libido year round. Keep reading for methods to try no matter the season.

How to increase libido all year round

Winter weather isn’t the only thing that can cause a dip in libido. There are a ton of mental and physiological factors that can impact sex drive, and it can happen during any part of the year. Here are some ways to combat that year round.

1. Increase physical activity

Working out is beneficial to libido. It increases your self-esteem, reduces stress and promotes better sleep, all of which contribute positively to your libido.

2. Change your diet

A nutrient rich diet can improve libido. Nuts like almonds, pine nuts and walnuts are good for sperm health. Leafy greens promote blood flow. Dark chocolate can stimulate dopamine, which is one of the pleasure hormones.

3. Consider lifestyle factors

Beyond diet, what we put in our bodies can impact libido. Drinking and smoking not only negatively impact your health, but also slow body processes integral to a robust libido. Cutting back drinking and smoking can increase sex drive.

4. Focus on foreplay

In addition to the temperature wherever you’re choosing to be intimate, your body also needs to warm up. Make out. Get handsy on top of clothes. Bring back fingering and hand jobs. Make eye contact. Go long on oral sex. Enjoy the process of sex rather than rushing to climax.

5. Try sexting

Sexting is a fun and intimate way to explore your own desires and your partner’s. It stimulates your imagination, can enhance anticipation and further emotional connection and trust. Here’s how to sext: Send playful, flirty messages that excite both you and your partner, and gradually build up the intensity slowly until you’re together.

6. Check your hormones

In addition to your regular doctor’s visits, consider seeing a physician to have your hormones checked and see if they’re all within the healthy levels as they are directly responsible for libido. A doctor can make recommendations for how to increase libido based on your labs.

Sometimes it’s not you, and your partner has a lower libido in the winter, but there are ways to manage a low libido in the winter for everyone. Keep reading to learn how to deal with low libido for everyone.

What if your partner has low libido in winter?

Even if your libido is unaffected, it’s totally normal to notice your partner’s sex drive lower in the winter. However, being in alignment is important. At least 34% of daters are looking for partners with matching libidos, and it can lead to someone feeling unsatisfied or desiring their partner more. But, no need to overlook sex in winter.

Check-in about non-sex needs in the relationship: While there can be outside contributing factors to low libido in the winter, it’s a great opportunity to focus on fostering intimacy through improving the connection between you. Are other needs being met – emotional, time spent?
Discuss desires and fantasies: Take the opportunity to talk about your sex drive, desires, fantasies and curiosities. Not only is it great information to have and apply when your partner has low libido, the process of being curious about these things can warm things up and establish a better emotional connection.
Do more non-sexual touch outside of sex: Make an effort to be more physically affectionate outside of the bedroom. Squeeze them harder when you hug, give a firm thigh rub, put a hand on their lower back – show that you want to touch them.
Avoid taking it personally: Low sex drive in winter may very well have nothing to do with you and everything to do with the conditions of the season. Try not to make it about how desirable you are to your partner.
Don’t pressure them: Take an approach of supporting them rather than pressuring them. Be curious about how to increase low libido for them, do things that they desire, intentionally try to turn them on without it being hinged on an outcome.

Find a partner who loves winter sex

Winter sex can be fun and beneficial, and it doesn’t have to be completely forgotten about just because you’re experiencing low sex drive in winter. Winter time is inherently slower. Have some fun and experiment with slowing things down in the bedroom to ensure there’s enough time to heat up. Find partners to explore with on Instabang.com.