How to Have the Best Orgasm Ever & Prevent Blue Balls

By: Theo Marín , October 1, 2024

September is Sexual Health Awareness Month. Sexual health encompasses physical, emotional, mental, and social health in relation to sex and sexuality, which can be instrumental to navigating your world every single day.

As there are many facets of sexual health – from STI prevention to healthy communication around desire and fantasy – we’re dialing in on a couple: how to have the best orgasm ever and prevent blue balls. Keep reading to learn about avoiding the frustration of blue balls, the benefits of orgasms, how to orgasm better for both men and women, and getting to simultaneous orgasm together.

How having the best orgasms benefits your sexual health

Healthy and good sex can be extremely beneficial for multiple parts of your life, with the obvious and first being your sex life. Great orgasms can improve your desire and drive to have sex. While there isn’t any universal indicator of what qualifies as a healthy libido, it should fall somewhere around being enthusiastically interested in sex without it being a distraction to the rest of your life.

A string of great orgasms and the effort that goes into them can also up your confidence in the bedroom (or wherever you’re pursuing these orgasms). This can also boost self-esteem and body image, creating security in one’s sexual identity.

Additionally, good orgasms can also help with your mental health as the physical release is great for reducing stress in the body, allowing for better sleep and spiking your happy hormones for better moods.

In addition to the sexual and mental benefits, there are a lot of physical benefits. Good orgasms help strengthen women’s pelvic floor which is good for supporting the bladder, uterus, and bowels and helps with sexual function. A strong pelvic floor can also help prevent urinary incontinence and pelvic organ prolapse. Aging, injury, childbirth, pregnancy, obesity, or chronic constipation can weaken the pelvic floor and this can be partially combated with lots of good orgasms.

Sexual activity – and especially better orgasms – increases heart rate and improves circulation, which can enhance overall cardiovascular health and oxygenate the body’s tissues. Endorphins released during sex and arousal also act as a natural pain reliever.

Finally, and very importantly, the best orgasm is the one that brings you closer to your partner. Achieving orgasms together by way of the effort, care, and communication it takes to get there can strengthen not only your chemistry and sex life, but it can do wonders for your relationship.

Are blue balls real, and can you prevent them?

Blue balls are real and the layman’s term for what is medically known as epididymal hypertension, which is the discomfort or pain some people with testicles may experience when they become sexually aroused but do not ejaculate. This can occur due to prolonged sexual stimulation without orgasm, leading to increased blood flow and pressure in the testicle.

Interestingly, 60 percent of people believe “blue balls” has serious medical implications if it lasts more than an hour according to a survey done by Everlywell. This is not the case. While some may experience pressure in their genitals or discomfort, it’s otherwise harmless, and according to the National Library of Medicine, only a fraction of people experience substantial pain. Blue balls has been used to coerce people into sexual contact they may not be otherwise interested in under the guise of needing to relieve it. This is not a valid reason.

The only surefire way to prevent blue balls is to not become sexually aroused, which is unrealistic. Unless you’re intentionally edging, take care of your own release should you be in a position where your partner no longer wants to continue sexual activity. Masturbation will relieve it. Otherwise, with consent, you can work together to relieve it.

Can women get blue balls?

Epididymal hypertension also exists in women and is casually referred to as blue vulva, the female version of blue balls. Similar to when those with male genitals stay aroused for long periods of time but are unable to orgasm or ejaculate, oxygen-deprived blood stays in the genitals causing discomfort. In women, this can also be referred to as pink pelvis, blue uterus, or blue bean.

While it isn’t uncommon for men to finish before (and even more often than) women, they, too, can experience the discomfort of epididymal hypertension, particularly if their partner finishes too quickly.

How to have the best orgasm and prevent blue balls

Better pleasure should always be the goal, but in order to avoid blue balls or blue vulva it’s important to make sure both you and your partner are climaxing. In the next sections we’ll talk about how to have the best orgasm for men, for women, and together.

Having the best female orgasm

Whether it’s solo or with a partner, having the best orgasm should be a priority for a woman and whoever she is with. However, statistically, women have few orgasms. Data collected from eight different surveys between 2015 and 2023 showed that across all age groups, men reported higher rates of orgasm than women. Men orgasm 70% to 85% of the time during intercourse, while women range from 46% to 58%. Furthermore, due to this gap, over half of women have faked an orgasm.

Here are some ways to set yourself or your female partner up for success in having more and better orgasms:

Kegel exercises: These help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles which contract during orgasms.
Clitoral stimulation: Penetrative sex isn’t always enough for a vagina to orgasm. Clitoral stimulation with hands, sex toys, or oral sex is often instrumental in climaxing.
Different positions: Figuring out various sex positions to try can provide different angles and penetration. They can also access the g-spot differently, ideally affording more intense female orgasm.

Having the best male orgasm

Just because men orgasm more frequently and consistently doesn’t mean they don’t need to learn how to have a better orgasm both by themselves or with partners. Here are some ways to achieve a better male orgasm:

Edging and orgasm control: Not only does this help with premature ejaculation, it can lead to more intense male orgasm.
Prostate stimulation: The prostate is known as the male g-spot and massaging it can increase blood flow to the pelvic area, enhancing sensitivity and pleasure.
Different masturbation techniques: Varied masturbation positions, strokes, and grip pressure can intensify men’s orgasms.
Sex toys specifically for men: Cock rings, sleeves, and fleshlights can offer different sensations whether they’re used with or without a partner.

Cum together: Intense simultaneous orgasm prevents sexual frustration

Simultaneous orgasm is when two people orgasm at the same time together. It’s also known as “mutual orgasm” or simply cumming together – the best-case scenario. Besides sharing this intense moment of pleasure together, simultaneous orgasms also mean no one is going to end up with blue balls or blue vulva

Orgasming together may take different focuses or strategies from each partner, but it’ll keep a man from cumming prematurely and alleviate any sexual frustration from the woman. By staying in sync both can reach climax. Keep reading to learn new ways to reach mutual orgasm.

How to have a better orgasm together

There are plenty of ways to ensure better orgasms together and avoid struggling to cross the finish line or simply never getting there. These are the best ways to achieve better simultaneous orgasms:

Communicate your desires beforehand: Talk about what you like and how you like it, from foreplay and oral to erogenous zones and cadence.
Decenter penetrative sex: Consider the range of pleasure you can have in addition to penetrative sex.
Take your time with foreplay: Being that you’re trying to achieve orgasm together, make foreplay focused on getting close rather than getting there.
Don’t rush the sex: This is all about alignment. You’re not in a race against each other.
Talk to each other throughout sex: Keep each other updated in a sexy way, both with what you need and how close you are. Talking someone through your orgasm and theirs is hot!

Still stuck? Mutual masturbation can help close the orgasm gap

If you still just can’t seem to get your timing right, there’s one more option to try – achieving a mutual masturbation orgasm. Mutual masturbation is when partners use their hands or toys to stimulate each other and their own genitals. The key here is being in control of your own orgasm and communicating it to your partner who is also controlling their own. You can work together by touching, kissing, or licking each other and communicating about not only where you’re at, but what you like about each other.

This may be a good starting point to work up to simultaneously orgasming together through sexual intercourse.

Find a partner to have the best orgasms with

The key to avoiding blue balls and having the best orgasms is finding a partner who wants to put in the effort with you, themselves, and each of your orgasms. Sexual compatibility and communication are the bedrock of sexual health and better orgasms. Find partners to have better orgasms with on Instabang.com and avoid having blue balls forever.

Theo Marín

I’ve been writing about digital subcultures for 5 years, with a soft spot for the weird corners of the internet. I studied psychology, but honestly, I learned more from late-night Discord chats than from textbooks. Before landing here at Camsoda, I contributed to a zine about underground gaming. Now I dig into how technology, sex, and identity blend together online. Off the job, I’m usually sketching comics, failing at sourdough, or binging football matches.

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