How To Find The Clit: Beginner’s Guide to Clitoral Stimulation

By: Sam Pirson , January 8, 2025

Although it’s talked about like the mythical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or with as much lore as the Loch Ness monster, the clit exists and is not challenging to find or understand. And, yet, it’s long been misunderstood.

In 2017, a study showed that when tasked with labeling a woman’s anatomy half of them could not identify the vagina. With such familiarity parallel to complete lack of understanding, it comes as a surprise to no one finding the clit is treated like the treasure at the end scavenger hunt.

This guide is here to help you learn how to find it and please it. Whether it’s for your partner or you, keep reading for tips, tricks, and all the important info on the clitoris and clitoral stimulation.

First, what is the clitoris?

The clitoris is a highly sensitive organ located at the top of the vulva, above the vaginal opening. It’s considered the primary source of sexual pleasure for those with a vagina. It is comprised of a visible external part called the glans, as well as internal structures that extend beneath the surface. The clitoris has a high concentration of nerve endings—around 10,000—making it, by definition, one of the most sensitive parts of the human body.

The glans is the small, visible portion of the clitoris, which is typically covered by a fold of skin known as the clitoral hood. It isn’t challenging to find as much as there is a lack of curiosity around understanding pleasure for women. Most of the clitoris’ structure is internal, which extends along the sides of the opening vaginal canal. It is comparable in structure and function to the penis, as both are derived from the same embryonic tissue. It’s simply shaped differently and therefore clitoral stimulation is achieved differently, but just like the penis, the shape and size can vary person to person.

The primary function of the clitoris is to provide sexual pleasure. Clitoris stimulation can lead to intense sensations of pleasure, which are often associated with orgasm.

Oddly, there are lots of misconceptions about the clit. Commonly believed to be small – and difficult to find – the clit is not this tiny button that’s hard to see. Typically around 11 centimeters long, most of the clitoris is beneath the skin and surrounds the vagina like a wishbone.

Further, there is some confusion around orgasms. As the penis and the clitoris are formed from the same embryonic tissue, clitoral stimulation is an integral part of orgasming for women. Often overlooked or unfounded and disregarded as some women don’t orgasm, the reality is it’s more challenging to orgasm when the clit is not stimulated, as it would be if the penis weren’t. (Duh.)

Where is the clitoris located & what is its anatomy?

A new study released by The Urology Foundation found only that 41% of men 18 to 24 know where the clitoris is on a person’s body – an astoundingly stark contrast to 70 percent of male senior citizens. There is no reason for less than half of young men to not know when Google and anatomy books exist. However, one in 10 women also had a hard time correctly identifying parts of their own anatomy. The clitoris is a highly sensitive organ. Shaped like a wishbone, its main function is sexual pleasure. The anatomy of the clitoris can be divided into external and internal components. Externally, you’ll be able to see the glans clitoris, clitoral hood, and labia minora. The glans is the visible part of the clitoris, often described as the “head.” It’s a small, round, highly sensitive structure located at the top of the vulva, where the inner labia meet. When found, it often (misguidedly) gets all of the attention. The glans is made up of erectile tissue and is covered by the clitoral hood, which covers and protects the glans. The glans clitoris is located just above the urethral opening, between the labia minora, which are the skin folds that form the opening of the vagina. And, there’s more. Internally, extending from the glans, the clitoral body (or shaft) lies beneath the skin. It’s approximately 1-2 inches long in most individuals and connects to the internal portions of the clitoris, which include the crura and bulbs. The crura are two elongated structures (also referred to as the “legs”) that extend from the clitoral body along the pelvic bones. On each side of the vaginal opening and tucked within the legs are the bulbs. Blood rushes to the crura and the bulbs when the body is aroused. It is so much more than flicking the bean. Read on to know how finding the clit will open the door to much more pleasure.

Clitoral stimulation & orgasm vs. penetration

Because everyone’s genitalia is arranged with subtle differences, the path to an orgasm isn’t linear. For example, those whose vaginal opening is further from the clit or those who have a smaller clit may have a more challenging time orgasm altogether.

Because there are more nerve endings in the clit (all of it) than the vagina (the tube), jackhammering a penis in and out of it often simply isn’t sufficient. Over 36% of women find it easier to orgasm with clitoral stimulation.

Keep reading to understand the different ways to approach clitoral stimulation for your partner or for yourself!

Tips for how to find the clitoris

We can quickly demystify the process of how to find the clitoris.

The clitoral hood covering the glans is the easiest to find as it’s right above the urethra and vaginal opening.
From there, everything internally extends down each side of the vaginal opening.

Communication is key from there. In order to sound less clinical, you can say you want to please her more, ask about things like pressure, and read cues. If she jumps, ease up. If her body seems to open up to you more, you’re moving in the right direction. The most important detail is to move slowly because the clit, and specifically the glans, is super sensitive. Encourage her to guide you.

As mentioned, not all women are super in touch with their bodies or even finding the clit on their own. It’s a great opportunity to talk about pleasure or talk through the pleasure while being intimate, which can help both of you with clitoris stimulation.

If you have a clitoris and are a little unsure of how it relates to pleasure for you, it may be time to give yourself a better view with a hand mirror. You can also experiment with different types of vibrators – regular ones, clit-sucking options, or even vibrators that can be worn or used during partnered sex.

Clitoral stimulation techniques for female pleasure

It’s easy to assume that if so many people don’t know how to find the clit, they’re fairly in the dark when it comes to stimulating the clit. Clitorial stimulation is essential and not this challenging thing to achieve. Below, we’ll cover how to warm it up with foreplay and specific tips and tricks for everything from over-clothes rubbing and touching to cunnilingus tips when using your mouth and even trying out vibrators before getting into great sex positions for clit stimulation.

1. Foreplay and the full experience is everything

If a man skips foreplay, it’s easy to wonder if he even wants to enjoy the woman he’s with. He absolutely isn’t concerned with her pleasure, and it’s easy to deduce he is purely in it for his own nut rather than the process of both of you getting there.

Consider the lighting, the setting, and the temperature. Cold feet are not sexy, grab a blanket. Take your time exploring her body. Make out. Kiss each other near erogenous zones before stimulating them directly. Foreplay is essential, and clit-focused foreplay is fun.

2. How to rub clit for max pleasure

If you have a penis, use this guiding principle. Which feels better: someone pressing one fingertip on your penis or using their entire hand to grip, rub, or put pressure on it? Right, so there is no reason to just be going to work on the clit with your fingertips.

With or without underwear, start by putting your whole hand on her entire pussy. The heel of your hand should be near her vaginal opening with palm and fingers covering the part of the clitoris that isn’t showing. Apply light and varying pressure. You want to almost just hold it while you talk to her or kiss on other parts of her body.

Think of the clitoral hood and the glans as the shaft of the penis. You can squeeze it from each side of the labia majora and gently move in a jerking motion. Approach stimulating the clit through the lens of applying pressure on it.

Beyond using your hands, you should also use the head of your penis. Press it on her clitoral hood and glans, put just the tip inside of her and take it out and rub your head on her clit with her wetness. You can also tap your head on it gently.

This should all be done slowly. The clit is very sensitive. It will also make you look like you know what you’re doing and her pleasure is a priority, which are both huge turn-ons.

3. Clit sucking and licking

When it comes to clit stimulation by licking, start by sticking out your tongue as wide and flat as it can go, but not super hard – it should be with a soft touch. Use it to apply pressure on the top of the clit. Next, you can start with your tongue at the bottom of her vulva and move it up and down so that it goes right to the top, passing over her clit, before going right the way back down again. You can also press your tongue into her clit and slowly move side to side over it. Consider movement from your head and neck rather than just a lot of tongue. You’ll be able to apply more pressure against her clit and vagina as you work your way up and down without tiring out your tongue.

For sucking, moisten your lips and make an ‘O’ formation with your mouth. Don’t hesitate to use both hands to open her labia and isolate her clit by using your mouth. Create an airtight vacuum chamber around it to keep it erect. From here, gently start sucking and almost tugging on the area.

4. Using a clit vibrator on your partner (or yourself!)

You do not need to attack the glans itself with a vibrator. Experiment with stimulating clit from different angles, and remember so many of those sensitive nerve endings are below the surface. Try from the side of the hood or pressing across the hood and labia majora.

Toys like regular vibrators, clit sucking vibrators, and a cock ring with a vibrator attached specifically for clitoral stimulation are a great option for a different feel. And, they sometimes make it easier to climax repeatedly.

5. Try using clit stimulating gel

Clit stimulating gel is lubricant designed to enhance sexual pleasure by stimulating the clitoris, often through increased sensitivity or arousal. It typically contains ingredients that create a warming, cooling, or tingling sensation, which may help to heighten sexual enjoyment.

Best sex positions for clit stimulation & orgasms

woman handing boyfriend condom in bed after foreplay

Certain sex positions afford easy access to the clit, giving clitoral stimulation, and penetration can happen at the same time. Here are some to try:

Table top: The table top gives easy access to the clit. The partner with the clit can be on the couch with the penetrating partner on his knees or on the bed, and he can be standing, the position allows pressure to be placed on the clit while he’s thrusting in and out.
Spooning: Try spooning and the penetrating partner can reach over the hip or under her thigh to stimulate the clit while thrusting.
Pretzel dip: For the pretzel dip, the partner with the clit lays on her side and he straddles her bottom leg to enter her with plenty of space to rub her clit. This is also great for deep penetration.

Practicing how to stimulate the clit makes perfect

Clit stimulation is essential, but it differs for every body. The best (and most enjoyable) approach is with openness to experimentation, communication, and willingness to discover new ways to feel pleasure. Sign up for Instabang.com for someone to connect with online and try new things.