{"id":2941,"date":"2023-09-27T20:30:29","date_gmt":"2023-09-27T20:30:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/?p=2941"},"modified":"2026-01-12T17:23:03","modified_gmt":"2026-01-12T17:23:03","slug":"prepare-for-anal-sex-how-to-ask-for-anal-what-comes-next","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/prepare-for-anal-sex-how-to-ask-for-anal-what-comes-next\/","title":{"rendered":"Prepare For Anal Sex: How To Ask For Anal &#038; What Comes Next"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[wbcr_snippet id=&#8221;1396&#8243;][wbcr_php_snippet id=&#8221;765&#8243;]<br \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1999\" height=\"1335\" src=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/image2-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" \/><br \/>\n\t\t\tTop posts<br \/>\n\t\t[tptn_list heading=0][wbcr_snippet id=&#8221;1386&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>When Wayne Gretzky famously said, \u201cYou miss 100% of the shots you don\u2019t take,\u201d he probably wasn\u2019t referring to anal sex, but he might as well have been. It\u2019s not just a great piece of motivational wisdom, but a universal truth that the only way you can acquire some things in life (without being offered) is by shooting your shot. And every great player knows, whether it\u2019s hitting slapshots or asking your partner about anal sex, your best bet is to put yourself in a position to score.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_80 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-white ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 eztoc-toggle-hide-by-default' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/prepare-for-anal-sex-how-to-ask-for-anal-what-comes-next\/#Prepare_For_Anal_Early_On\" >Prepare For Anal Early On<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/prepare-for-anal-sex-how-to-ask-for-anal-what-comes-next\/#Assess_Your_Desires_Before_Asking_For_Anal\" >Assess Your Desires Before Asking For Anal<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/prepare-for-anal-sex-how-to-ask-for-anal-what-comes-next\/#How_To_Ask_For_Anal_The_Right_Way\" >How To Ask For Anal The Right Way<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/prepare-for-anal-sex-how-to-ask-for-anal-what-comes-next\/#Some_Red_Flag_Responses_To_You_Asking_For_Anal_Sex\" >Some Red Flag Responses To You Asking For Anal Sex<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/prepare-for-anal-sex-how-to-ask-for-anal-what-comes-next\/#How_To_Prepare_For_Anal_Sex_Quickly_If_She_Says_Yes\" >How To Prepare For Anal Sex Quickly If She Says Yes!<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/prepare-for-anal-sex-how-to-ask-for-anal-what-comes-next\/#Final_Thoughts_on_Preparing_For_Anal_Sex\" >Final Thoughts on Preparing For Anal Sex<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Prepare_For_Anal_Early_On\"><\/span>Prepare For Anal Early On<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Before the conversation itself and your own reflection and research on the pleasure part of anal sex, addressing hygiene and safety is important. Regularly getting tested and barrier methods are important for STI prevention.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Hygiene is also important to consider, whether that\u2019s a bathroom break and shower beforehand or simply knowing someone\u2019s mind may be in the mood for anal sex but they\u2019re body isn\u2019t. Even if you\u2019ve had anal sex before, each partner is a new situation that should be handled, spoken to and heard as if it\u2019s brand new.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Assess_Your_Desires_Before_Asking_For_Anal\"><\/span>Assess Your Desires Before Asking For Anal<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/image3-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1999\" height=\"1333\" \/><\/p>\n<p>So, you know you want to ask. You\u2019ve either done it with another partner in the past or you want your current situation to allow you to forge into this uncharted territory for the first time. If you don\u2019t do well with rejection, I\u2019m going to go ahead and recommend <i>against<\/i> bringing up your desire to penetrate your partner\u2019s asshole with your penis for the first time while you are in the process of having sex.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The idea behind figuring out why you want to try anal is specifically to be able to communicate it in a way that isn\u2019t completely self-rewarding. Consider if she frequently climaxes when you have sex. If not, perhaps a preliminary conversation should revolve around how to cater to her sexual needs. Granted, not all women orgasm during sex, but investment in her pleasure and a concerted effort to get her there won\u2019t go overlooked.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>This will take some self-reflection. Straight men largely have a reputation for prioritizing themselves during sex, so before popping the question, you might want to do some research and determine your lover(s) perception on where you fall on the taker-to-giver scale. Takers will immediately be perceived as asking with nothing beyond their own dick in mind. Givers are in a better position with anyone who may be a little apprehensive but curious nonetheless. Be a giver.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If you don\u2019t give enthusiastic cunnilingus, learn. If you can\u2019t find the clit, start a search party. Immediately. If you haven\u2019t consistently exhausted every avenue of making sure she is satisfied in some way, shape, or form, go ahead and consider this a prerequisite before you ask for anal, or anything outside the realm of normal sex between you. Ultimately, you want her to have faith that you will make this extremely enjoyable.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If you really want to knock her socks off, in addition to figuring out why you want to do it, putting it into words, and making sure it\u2019s for her pleasure as much as your own, educate yourself on anal sex and how to prepare for it.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Showing you\u2019ve done a little research on things like how to prep or ease into anal, to avoid numbing lubes and what types to consider, that clitoral stimulation in addition to anal penetration will help for her pleasure, and if you want to consider a butt plug during foreplay, is not only sexy but will really allow her to trust you even if neither of you have ever done it.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>A great resource is<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Sex-Women\/dp\/1573442216\"> Tristan Taormino\u2019s book<\/a>, \u201cThe Ultimate Beginner\u2019s Guide to Anal Sex for Women, 2nd Edition.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re going to approach this thoughtfully, so here are a few things you need to consider!<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">As mentioned, make sure to start the conversation outside of a sexual session.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">Make sure you afford her time to think about it as you\u2019ve also taken time to consider your own desires around anal sex before bringing it to her.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">You can make it a larger conversation about desires and fantasies and include anal sex into that conversation.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">Consider asking about toys or butt plugs to start and ease into full on anal sex. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_To_Ask_For_Anal_The_Right_Way\"><\/span>How To Ask For Anal The Right Way<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Sometimes, it seems as though men don\u2019t think about consequences or consider all of the possible outcomes as much as women, so a spontaneous request while inside of her probably hasn\u2019t accommodated the possibility that she will say anything aside from yes. Let\u2019s avoid this.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>When you do find an opportune time to ask, she may respond yes, no, maybe\u2026 or why?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Will you have an answer?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It will feel good, right? Because you saw it in a video? You\u2019ve done it before and liked it? It\u2019s\u2026 tighter&#8230; you heard?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>You wouldn\u2019t ask for a sandwich without being hungry, and you wouldn\u2019t request a raise without knowing why you deserve it. Ask yourself why you want to have anal sex, so you can communicate that you want to try anal for the first time with her.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Some_Red_Flag_Responses_To_You_Asking_For_Anal_Sex\"><\/span>Some Red Flag Responses To You Asking For Anal Sex<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/image4-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1999\" height=\"1333\" \/><\/p>\n<p>This is not to make you feel abnormal, by any means.<a href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/nchs\/data\/nhsr\/nhsr036.pdf\"> According to the CDC<\/a>, 30-40 percent of men and women enjoy anal sex. You simply should be able to articulate why you want to do it and determining this will make discussing it easy, but here are some things to keep in mind during and after the discussion:\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">If she says \u201cmaybe,\u201d but never brings anal sex or the conversation up again, it\u2019s not a yes and that\u2019s what matters.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">If she shares a bad experience she had with anal sex and doesn\u2019t say she\u2019s open to trying it again, it\u2019s a no.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">When you ask about anal sex and she completely avoids the conversation or changes the subject, she\u2019s not ready to discuss it.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s very possible none of this will matter. She might just be down to do anal with you! Regardless, it\u2019s definitely worthwhile to take the time to have these conversations. Not only does it show you care, but it could take a partner from a maybe, to comfortable, to interested, or even begging for it.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_To_Prepare_For_Anal_Sex_Quickly_If_She_Says_Yes\"><\/span>How To Prepare For Anal Sex Quickly If She Says Yes!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.instabang.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/image1-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1999\" height=\"1333\" \/><\/p>\n<p>So, how do you prepare for anal if she\u2019s quick to say yes? First and foremost, safe sex is always important. Barrier methods of protection like condoms are the way to go here. Additionally, aside from protection, in terms of safety, you should come across major no-no\u2019s in your research. While having intercourse, it\u2019s crucial to know you shouldn\u2019t be going butt to mouth or butt to vagina due to bacteria that could be transferred during the act.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Make sure you do these things if you\u2019re both ready right away:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">Because the anus doesn\u2019t lubricate itself like the vagina, lube is essential. You\u2019ll want to lubricate both the penis (or any toy, butt plug or dildo) and the anus.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">Just because she can\u2019t get wet on her own, doesn\u2019t mean you skip foreplay. It is always instrumental for relaxation, enjoyment and pleasure.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\">Lastly, to prepare for anal sex, you\u2019ll need to keep in mind clean-up and aftercare. You can shower together, but if not, you\u2019ll also want to have wipes on hand and wash up both parties afterward.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Final_Thoughts_on_Preparing_For_Anal_Sex\"><\/span>Final Thoughts on Preparing For Anal Sex<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The bottom line is you\u2019ll want to take it slow. Ease into both the conversation, and if she says yes, the act itself. And last, but furthest from least, consider the possibility that even if you have the talk, get a yes, and handle the experience with the utmost care, it might still hurt, and you might need to stop, especially if it\u2019s the first time.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>After accepting this, you\u2019ll be ready for any conversation and new sexual experience.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Sign up for <a href=\"http:\/\/instabang.com\">instabang.com<\/a> to meet more people to explore your sexual desires with.<\/p>\n<p><br \/>\n\t\t\tTable of contents<br \/>\n\t\t[wbcr_snippet id=&#8221;684&#8243;]Similar articles[the-post-grid id=&#8221;75&#8243; title=&#8221;second&#8221;][wbcr_snippet id=&#8221;1594&#8243;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Thinking about asking for anal? This guide will help you learn your desires, approach conversations with partners about anal sex, and how to prepare for the first time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":2945,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2941","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-talk"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Prepare For Anal Sex: How To Ask For Anal &amp; What Comes Next | Instabang<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Thinking about asking for anal? 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